So I met him after work(fairly early at 4:30), at a place in TriBecca. He was already there when I got there and had ordered me a drink. Apparently this place is known for their jalapeno margaritas, and that’s what he had the waitress bring me over when I got there. I figured ” Ok at least the drink wasn’t sitting on the table . I would’ve been a little sketched out.”  And then I learned the warning signs that a date is about to crash and burn:

• If by the time I drink half of my drink, you’ve already ordered a second and have it half down the hatch, this might be a problem.
• Leaving your date sitting at the table within the first 45 minutes of your date to go have a cigarette ( which you were not forcoming about to begin with!) is not a good impression.

So these two I was willing to overlook for now, and we moved on to another place to get some food. And this is where things started to crash and burn:

• He says to the bartender, ” I’ll have my usual”, i.e. picklebacks ( see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickleback). Seriously?! Shots on a date, classy.
• As you continue to do shots, you tell your date that you took a year off from college between freshman and sophomore year to live in Colorado because you ” needed a break and to get out of there for awhile.” ie- You went to REHAB.
• You tell your date you spent New Year’s Eve with your ex, but left her at the bar for another chick. Really? Really?! Oh and btw, You’re not that good looking.

At this point, I’m like ” Ok time to me to bounce out of this date.” So I say ” I really need to start to head home.” He closes out his tab and walks me to the subway and before I know it, his tongue is DOWN my throat! I immediately pull away and say ” What the HELL are you doing?” His response, ” What? I can’t get a little tongue and (wait for it) boobage?” Are you kidding me? Really? And we’re how old? 30? No wonder you’re still single.

I should have seen this coming when he told me he went to boarding school all his life,called Connecticut “the country” ,got his MBA from a top notch California school “just for the experience”, and only worked for his father’s company until he sold it. Now he’s pursuing using his BFA as a “freelance artist”, but hasn’t had a commission yet. Yet, can “afford” to live in a 10th floor apartment with a private outdoor patio in TriBecca ( so you say). Hello Mr. Man- Boy, nice to meet you. I hope to never meet your kind again.

What’s been your WORST date?

( Disclaimer, I have psoriasis. I have a few major flare-up on my arm. In the summer, it’s basically nonexistent. But in the winter it flares up, and I’m pretty self conscious about it. This will make sense in a minute.)

• Date #1- Wasn’t terrible. But there was definitely no chemstry. And I felt like I was on a job interview, with a million questions. Oh and note to the guy for next time, it’s probably not a good idea for the second question out of your mouth to your new date to be ” What’s up with the rash all over your arm?” Then as I try to explain it, obviously uncomfortable talking about it, to continue to bombard me with questions and ask me if that’s the only place on my body it is. Don’t worry dude, you won’t be finding that out. Oh and, a Candian/Indian accent is really weird to listen to.
• Date #3 ( who has also been a second date)- Mr. Nice Guy.  We have a decent amount in common, and the conversation always flows nicely. But I think it’s more about friendship for me. And I couldn’t put my finger on it until our second date. ( and this is a terrible cliche, but true), He’s just too DAMN NICE! I know that’s horrible, but I guess I need a little bit of an edge, or a guy that likes sports, or is a little more of a “guy’s guy”. This one I have no idea how to handle if the topic of going out again comes up. Do I give him another chance or let him down?
• Date # 6 ( also been a second date)- I was most nervous going into this one. The first time we made plans, he wasn’t feeling well so we rescheduled. Then we’re supposed to meet at 6, and he tells me at 5:30 that he’s stuck at work and can we meet at 6:30? I say sure because I’m already around and what do I have to lose? Though I did think he was going to stand me up for a bit. So, how did this one go? Well I guess when you sit in the same place for six hours, and lose all track of time because you’re having a great conversation and fun, that must be a good sign

The bad date I had deserves it’s own post because there was just too much going on.

What’s your best dating advice?

Good Advice to live by

At first, I was pretty sheepish about the whole thing. But let me tell you one thing about being single for the first time in my adult life- Meeting people is FUCKING hard. The bar scene is loud, people are drunk, and it’s intimidating. Plus, if I’m going out after work, or with my friends, it’s because I want to blow off some steam and relax, not feel pressure to “find someone”.  And it’s not like I’m about to strike up an office romance.

True Confession time:  So,I’m trying the online dating thing. Surprisingly, I haven’t had much judgement passed about doing it. Most of the people I’ve told have been pretty excited and supportive about it.

So, I decided to give it a shot. I mean what do I have to lose?

It’s been an interesting experience thus far ( enough to so to convince a friend to do it!). As much as I’ve been out of the dating scene for almost all of my 20s, it’s been pretty easy to get into again.   I’ve definitely gotten some new material for this blog. Good dates, bad dates, and everything in between.  More on what I’ve been learning as a single gal to come!

So far, my New year is off to a rockin’ start. I was in ‘Cuse on NYE, and started my new year off pretty well. Even though I was one of three single people at the party, I laughed hard, danced goofy, and made my own fun! It was definitely the best way to kick off my new year.

I’ll admit I was pretty nervous to return to work. Considering the state my class was in when I left, I was terrified to see what 10 days off would do to them. But they surprised me, so far, they have done a complete 180 from the class I met. And that’s a good thing. The class has gotten complements from a fair amount of the staff on their great behavior when we are out of the classroom, or the teachers walk by. It’s enough that today my principal told me she’s heard how well they’re doing since I took over.

Today during nap, which is typically the hardest time of day, we could hear a pin drop, which is unbelievable! Even with the kids who were awake. I was talking to one of my assistants about how much they’ve changed, and how I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop and them to revert to the class I met. She looked at me and said, ” Look around. You did this. You’re just made of sparkles.”

And you know what? She’s right. And I have to remember that. I’m kicking ass in graduate school..3.85 GPA again this semester ( watch out 4.0 I’m coming for you!), I’m  doing well at and loving my job, making new friends and connections, and I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. At this point, I couldn’t be happier in where I am in my life, and who I am in this moment. Sometimes delicate flowers can withstand the most severe of storms…

Like glitter's raining on me...

All ready for the oven!

So I’m home on vacation this week, which is proving to be a challenge for lunch ideas. Typically, at school, I will have a juice and a raw food bar. But Staten Island is a healthy food desert, and I forgot to stock up on raw food bars before I left school for vacation. I’ve been trying to eat super healthy, and as “clean” as possible. ( Partly for my super secret surprise coming up in two weeks!) I wanted something filling but light to eat today, and this is what I came up with:

• One Rosemary and Herb Flatout -at 100 calories they are super savory for making tasty sandwiches without adding mayo etc.
• A handful of raw, organic baby spinach
• A handful of  shredded, low fat Mozzarella cheese
• Three baby Heirloom Tomatoes
• Olive Oil
• Italian Seasoning
• Powdered Garlic
• Chopped Onion
• Parmesan Cheese

I put the flatout on a cookie sheet covered with nonstick foil ( easy cleanup!) and brushed it with some olive oil. I sprinkled the flatout with some Italian seasoning, garlic, and chopped onion. I then sprinkled a handful of Mozzarella on, as much spinach as I wanted ( don’t forget how much spinach cooks down!),  the sliced baby Heirloom tomatoes, a few more pieces of shredded Mozzarella, a dash of olive oil over the top, and threw some grated Parmesan Cheese on the top. Put it in the oven at 350, but I moved the temperature up to 375 after 6 minutes because it wasn’t looking as crispy as I wanted it to be. and Volia!

Yummy!

I cooked it for about 12 minutes, but use your best judgement on how the cheese looks and how crispy the edges looked. It was delicious! Light and filling all at the same time!

What’s your favorite recipe you’ve made on a whim?

Inspiration

…play your cards right, lose yourself in a good book, add a twist, make sparks fly

I found this bracelet by Kate Spade and immediately knew it had to be my Christmas present to myself. Inscribed on the inside it says this is the year to…and the outside is the above quote. So it got me thinking of what I want this year to be about..and here it is…

This is the year to…

• create a new beginning
• travel to a new place
•  move
• make a big purchase
• get into shape
• find a new hobby
• discover something new
• fall in love…with myself and my life
• complete a three day breast cancer walk
• get a tattoo
• visit friends

Last New Year’s I spent with some pretty awesome people…people who had been in my life for a long time and know me better than almost anyone I know..I, at that point, was trying to repair my relationships with them. I bent over backwards,  allowed myself to feel like a terrible person, because of them. I felt like I had to atone for my sins and theirs, accept all responsibility and blame for certain situations. This year, I will be fortunate enough to spend it with friends who accept me, ALL of me, know my faults, and love me anyway. I can’t think of better people to celebrate the start of a new beginning with, can you?

Keep your light on

“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”- j.k rowling-

After having a pretty serious, and heartbreaking conversation yesterday, good news finally came my way.

This job fell in my lap. A friend of mine from Graduate School works for a Catholic school in Midtown, and they had an immediate opening in their Pre-k 3 year old program. She passed my resume along to her principal. I figured “Why not?” I haven’t been on a job interview in four years; it’d be good experience and may lead to networking opportunties.

After the interview, I felt like I might actually want to take the job. There are lots of pros to it that won out:

•  I will get a discount on tuition from my program for teaching in a Catholic school- any money off of $1000/credit is a pro to me!
• Living at home, my expenses are nil. With my income now, I can hopefully pay off one student loan, and maybe pay down some more. This is worth it’s weight in gold!
• I get to have my own classroom!
• I’ll keep busy and keep my mind off things.
• It’s within walking distance of campus.

There are some cons:

• I’ll still have to get up at 5am to make it into the city, now 5 days/week!.
• I’ll have quite a few hours to kill in between school and class-but trying to turn this into a pro-I can get lots of work done (or even take a nap on a cot,another pro to preschool teaching!)
• I might be overwhelmed with taking over a classroom/students that are in chaos already from all the changes, but I have a month of graduate school break to get into a groove.

In the end, the tuition discount and the possibility of paying off loans won out. Who couldn’t turn down an opportunity to get some of that off their plate?!

My mom, who was pretty against this idea from the beginning, but not only came around to it, but was pretty excited about it in the end, reminded me, that maybe this is a good sign, time for a fresh start, and reminded me of this quote:

“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…”

This year, I am feeling Grinch-y. Holiday shoppers and tourists are driving me crazy ( and it’s only the first day of December!) I have no excitement or joy for the season like I normally do. Maybe it’s because I’m not surrounded by 2 year olds this year, who for them, it’s the first year they really can grasp the concept of the holiday, Santa, etc and are SUPER EXCITED over it, partly because it’s all new to them.

It might be the fact that for the first year in a long time, my mom’s side of the family might not be getting together for the holidays. Every year, I look forward to this get together; the loud, laughing, nonstop talking, loving family I get to see few and far between. I feel like this year it’s especially poignant for us to get together as my lovely Tante Lynn is kicking cancer’s ass right now ( because you are Tante Lynn!).

It might be the fact that I’m overwhelmed with the end of the semester and the possibility of having to make a decision about a job ( and how it might affect my graduation- more on that in another post).

Or it might be I got so excited over the holidays because I knew it was an uncomfortable time of year for him. It always reminded him of the family he didn’t have growing up. I wanted to give him the holiday experience everyone deserves, and start our own traditions as the family we were becoming. This is the first Christmas in 7 years I won’t spend with him.

Our first "adult" Christmas after college

J-man's first Christmas- of course he got into the wrapping paper

On the bright side, one tradition that has never failed me yet, is the annual get together with the girls around the holidays! We’ve made this a tradition since freshman year of college, that we would all get together for a meal and fun before we left for break. Now that we’re older, we get together for a girls’ weekend/night. 9 years and going strong! This year I made super cool surprises for them that I will make a post for about after I give them to them (don’t want to ruin the surprise!) I CAN’T WAIT to give them to the girls. I hope they like them as much as I do!

Are you in a Merry mood, or are you being a Grinch?

I’ve developed a mild obsession with the website, http://pinterest.com/. If you haven’t heard of it yet, it is pretty awesome. You can create boards with different things and “pin” images from the internet on it. The pins will link you back to the original site. You can also “repin” from other people boards.  If you’re on it, follow me at christinagrace6. If you’re not on, join! ( I have invites if you want them!) It’s like giant inspiration boards from the internet. It’s been pretty awesome to explore. I’ve found a ton a great ideas for teaching/classroom materials, new recipes ( I could host a whole Jell-o shot themed party), beauty tutorials, and it’s inspiried me to get crafty.  Here are some of my favorite “pinterests”:

A-mazing...I will do this for Halloween when I have a child

I want to attempt this soon

If this doesn't melt your heart...

I knew that Einstein man was smart for a reason

This might be my graduation present to myself..I just need to get this printed on a poster/canvas so I can hang it in my first classroom!

Wine Jell-o shots

and something to remember:

Why those three little words are a really big deal

• Student teaching is going well. I’m still really enjoying my placement and I’m trying to learn as much as I can. The one thing I’ve learned the most about is my own teaching philosophy. I’ve almost cemented that I am a social-emotional, play based teacher. I really do believe children learn the best by interacting with materials, ideas, and each other. It drives me crazy that these little kindergarderns sit at tables for half the day working in silence!
• I’m being observed for the first time in my placement for a lesson plan this Thursday! :gulp:
• A friend of mine at Fordham hooked me up in the Archdiocese database, so I’ve been getting emails/phone calls about subbing and permanent positions. I had a sub interview today on SI, and the principal told me she was glad I came in, and that I should have no problem getting a job wherever I interview because I am well spoken, and exude great energy and confidence. That was a major boost after not being on a job interview in over 4 years!
• Marcella got really sick this month. She stopped eating and drinking, broke out in a rash on her face, and was throwing up for over 24 hours. After one trip to the vet( which she handled much better than I expected!), three shots, and one medication later, she was home and hopefully on the mend. A few days later, she started sneezing an awful lot, wheezing, blowing snot bubbles, and cuddling with me EVERY chance she could find( like on my lap while I was trying to eat dinner). So back to the vet we went. She had a fever, got some IV fluids, and sent home with another medication. By about the 11th  day of having medication forced down her throat (quite literally), she had had enough.  I felt terrible for my little Mamma Bear
  

  Six years later, Marcella's still my snuggle buddy.

• ” It’s never 50/50. It’s always 70/30 or 60/40. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone who works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly while someone else goes along for the ride.” Mercy by Jodi Piccoult.
•  There are people who come into your life that take a little piece of you with them when they leave. He’s taking pieces upon pieces, because I have given him all of me.  I may move on, but I will never be the same. I will always be haunted by the ghost of him, the years, memories, experiences,the life and future I have pictured for so long, and love we shared. He is the first, and only, man I’ve ever really, truly, loved. He’s the person who pushed me to be a better person, challenged me to be more ambitious, and believed in me.  We’re goofy together. I fit in his nook. He opened me up to new ideas, thoughts, experiences; to try new things ( like spicy-ish food, his famous BBQ, goat cheese, red wine etc). I cannot look at my life without seeing it colored by him.
• I miss him. I miss having him to share some good news, or an accomplishment with. I miss the rituals and shared interests we have built together. I hate not being able to call the one person I know would get something, find the humor in it, or the annoyance of it. I hate not sharing our lives, the good and bad, with each other. To say it’s difficult to live without the ONE person whom you’ve shared and built a life with, is an understatement. But I am doing it, taking it one day/step at a time, doing the things I have to do for myself.
• I hate the fact that I call him to ask for something he’d said he’d give, to help out with finally, and I get cursed at when I ask. Or just the fact that he’s so short and crude about it. I don’t know how you can talk to someone that was in your life for so long, whom you love like that.